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    Stop fighting Cancer........

    Lots of threads on here all the time about cancer. Both my parents suffered from cancer. My mom had a double mastectomy in the early 90s. She had bone cancer 3 other times in her left jaw. Her last stint was in her left lung. She passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago. Not from cancer though as she had other ailments.

    My dad had prostate cancer 25 yrs ago. He is still kicking at 78. My MIL is in the later part of stage 4 cancer as I write this. Nothing more that can be done. They are just going day by day and month by month. She suffered from breast cancer as well.

    Read it and you can decide for yourself. Cancer sucks. I can see where some of it plays a major role in hyping a person up to try and beat the disease. I think at some point you have to realize there is no more that can be done.

    Many people take issue with the words “fight” and “battle” in relation to cancer, saying that it subjects patients to unfair pressure to overcome the disease.


    “’Fight’ and ‘battle’ means that you can either win or lose,” he says, adding that “journey” and “survivor” can also be controversial. “If you think about it, who are the other survivors that we talk about other than cancer survivors?” Saria says. “You don’t talk about someone being a diabetes survivor or a stroke survivor.”

    It’s often patients in palliative care who struggle with this terminology the most, Martha Aschenbrenner, licensed professional counselor with the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “The idea of a battle always has a sense of personal responsibility and accountability,” she points out. “For a lot of people, they feel like it puts the onus on them to survive their cancer.”

    When it comes to helping people figure out how to mentally grapple with a cancer diagnosis, Aschenbrenner says she often asks the patient to define the terminology they’re comfortable with using. “I ask people, ‘What does this feel like to you?’” she says. A lot depends on a person’s stage of life and their generational perspective. Those who are older tend to look at it as a battle, while younger people typically view cancer as something they have to learn to live with, Aschenbrenner says.

    #2
    Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

    What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

    One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

    The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

    As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

    Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

    One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"

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      #3
      Originally posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
      Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

      What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

      One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

      The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

      As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

      Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

      One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"

      At 76, my dad just said this last weekend, as hes battling a series of issues with his lungs and heart. Coming from the strongest man you've ever known its a tough pill to swallow.

      Prayers for you and your family.

      Comment


        #4
        July 24 will mark 10 years since my mom passed away due to ovarian cancer. She "battled" it until she chose not to. Her oncologist was a great doctor, with no patient relationship skills. After the cancer came back for the second time he told her, basically, at least she knew what was going to kill her. Cancer is an insidious, relentless foe.

        Tuffbroadhead - Had to wipe the eyes brother. That's kind of what i have in mind when my time comes.

        Prayers up for those "battling", patients, family, friends, et al.

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          #5
          Its the only thing on this earth that scares me. Grandfather mother and other aunts and uncles have died from one kind or another. When it my time I will not go out without a fight.

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            #6
            Originally posted by Texas Tracker View Post
            Its the only thing on this earth that scares me. Grandfather mother and other aunts and uncles have died from one kind or another. When it my time I will not go out without a fight.
            I will not burden my Wife and family with a pile of bills.

            Comment


              #7
              Tuffbroadhead. Wow! Thanks for sharing that. My great Aunt called it "The ****edable Disease." As she slowly watched it take her daughter away. I watched as it killed my grandmother and mother in law also. Everyday on this Earth is a blessing in my eyes. I think if cancer finds me I will probably walk into the woods and not come back, but I don't know.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
                One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
                My dad said "I didn't know dying was going to be like this..."

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
                  Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

                  What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

                  One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

                  The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

                  As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

                  Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

                  One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
                  Man, what a testimony! That was HARD to read! You sir are a living example of Proverbs that teaches us to honor our parents. My dad didn't want all the fuss made over him either. He passed in December of '99 and was buried on Christmas Eve... All these years later, there's hardly a day that goes by that I don't think of him and it's kinda funny what I say about him pretty regular... the older I get, the smarter I realize my dad was... Sounds like yours was much the same. God bless you sir and thank you for sharing such a tremendous story with us!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
                    Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

                    What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

                    One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

                    The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

                    As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

                    Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

                    One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
                    Sorry to hear you lost your dad, Dale, but thanks for sharing this. I agree with your dad. If I am diagnosed with terminal cancer, then there is no way I am going to spend the last months of my life suffering from chemo treatments just to eek out a few more months. We are all going to die. Spend the last days living as much as one can, not being miserably sick from chemo.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I figure there are two general scenarios this relates to with cancer.

                      One is that its old age. Its gonna be the cancer or the heart disease for most of us. Making the decision to not burden family is commendable I believe.

                      The second would be someone who has not had their run at life yet, children, teenagers and those all the way up through mid life.

                      My Nana battled cancer her last 8 years on this planet. She was finally in remission and in her 80s but still sharp as a tack. They told her it came back and she called everyone to let them know she would not be fighting it this time and died very soon after. My grandfather who had a bad heart decided at the funeral it was his time too so he told my dad who then told me and my brother to say our goodbyes as he was going to stop taking his heart meds. He died I believe 2 weeks later. Its the youth that hits you the hardest. My cousin who was like my brother as we grew up together fought brain cancer at 21. They "got it all" and then one night he went to bed and didn't get back up. They found a baseball sized tumor inside his skull. That **** killed me, when you aren't expecting it and they are so young. Sucks.

                      I kid around with my wife but not sure how much I am really kidding that when its my time I am gonna say my goodbyes, rent a fishing boat out of Galveston and buy enough fuel to get out to the outer banks and not back.
                      Last edited by Ætheling; 05-16-2018, 02:20 PM.

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                        #12
                        Lost my pops to cancer as well after he fought if for some time. Once it came back for a second time it was all over his body and he too decide it was no longer worth the battle.

                        Prayers up for all of the people currently fighting the battle, the ones that have decided it's time and all of their families.

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                          #13
                          Saltwaterslick: Love your parallel to Proverbs and kind words spoken of Dale.

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                            #14
                            Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.

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                              #15
                              Cancer sucks. My mom died of lung cancer at age 53. That was a tough season in life for me and my family. One thing is for sure, my mom was as tough as nails...her body was weak but her mind was strong. I learned a lot about mind over matter during that time.


                              Skinny

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