should I act surprised?

[stickbowcoop]

Lying?..LMAO....how the "bleep" are you lying to her if its a surprise? It never comes up.

If that's a lie in a relationship, there are some problems.

We have a great relationship and have been together for 25 years. It's lying because you know and don't tell her, then act surprised like you didn't know. I have very strict rules about lying because of some bad experiences in my youth. I am an open book. I either tell people the truth or say it's none of your business . So in our relationship I would tell her. I didn't mean to sound like I was saying what works for me works for everybody.

[Tommyh]

do you know what all she is planning, as in details, are are you just aware that she is "going all out"? on something for you? there is a difference, and you can still be surprised by what she chooses to do. its all perspective my man.

[Gunnyart]

You know but don't know all of the details so there's some surprise left yet.

It's true I don't have any details. date, location, guest list. I'm leaning this way.

[JBT]

In 28 years of marriage you have not figured out that regardless which option you choose that your still wrong? :-)

this right here ^^^ you're wrong either way

[batmaninja]

Just tell her you absolutely dont want a 50 year old birthday party under any circumstances. Problem solved.

[ShawnG]

Good luck with this!!!

[SmTx]

Secret you and the BIL can take to the grave!

[AntlerCollector]

It's true I don't have any details. date, location, guest list. I'm leaning this way.

Well then you will be surprised

Problem solved

[Dale Moser]

She's setting you up, it will happen the day before.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MySRT8U]

Man all you guys telling him to dime the BIL out must be some trust fund, silver spoon babies lol. Where I come from, snitches get stitches. lol

[Dr. Evil]

No matter what you do, it will be the WRONG decision.

[jer_james]

I wouldn't say ish and act surprised as hell - then celebrate ... It's your bday so you know what that means!

[Ricky T]

BIL is the weak link. If he can be trusted to NOT EVER tell anybody you knew I'd roll with it.

[topshot]

My BIL just spilled the beans that apparently my wife is planning a 50th Birthday party for me.

He obviously didn't know it was a secret so I can't blame him but my wife is going to be absolutely crushed because this is the first time she's tried to throw a party for me which is a really big deal for her to pull it off. (she is self conscious about never being able to surprise me.)

I'd lay the odds that word gets back to her that I know are about 50/50.

I really want my wife to enjoy this "victory" of FINALLY after almost 28 years of marriage managing to surprise me.

I'm really torn up (for her) over this.

Do I:
Play stupid and act surprised and run the risk she finds out I know...
or
Lavish praise on her for the effort and end all pretense?

I recommend some type of head injury that affects short-term memory because any other way at this is a lose/lose unless honesty is the most important value in your marriage...then I suggest telling her you to know about it.

[Smart]

do you know what all she is planning, as in details, are are you just aware that she is "going all out"? on something for you? there is a difference, and you can still be surprised by what she chooses to do. its all perspective my man.

Yup exactly this...no reason to ruin it all if for her. Even if you find out a partial snippet, there are all kinds of things to be surprised about. She's going out of her way to do something special for you so we can put any "morality" stuff aside for a night....