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Old 03-01-2018, 10:09 PM   #27
Pope & Young
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Decatur, Texas
Hunt In: Wise/Montague/Public land
Default Lying Dog

This reminded me of this story I've posted before.

Ralph the Talking Beagle

I was driving around the back woods of Arkansas, and saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Beagle For Sale." I quickly turned around and went up and knocked on the door. An old man appeared and told me to "Go around back. Ralph is in the backyard".

I walked around the house, and saw a nice-looking beagle hound sitting there. Feeling rather foolish I said “You talk?”.

“Yep,” Ralph replied.

After I recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, I said “So, what’s your story?” Ralph looked up and said, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was just a young pup. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and FBI".

"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in on meetings with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”

“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible drug dealings and terrorist plots. They awarded me a batch of medals."

"I've sired lots of show and field champion pups, won the AKC Nationals, ran a lot of rabbits and now I’m just retired.”

I was amazed. I returned to the owner and asked what he wanted for old Ralph.

“Ten dollars,” the old man replied.

“Ten dollars? That dog is amazing! Ralph told me all about his adventures traveling the world. Why are you selling him so cheap?"

He replied, “Because that lying s-o-b ain't never been out of the back yard."
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