Son of a $&$)@!! Frustrations!!!!

[DapperDan]

I’ve Learned from experience that sometimes when you have employees that have “coping issues or anxiety“ then a good paying job that they can’t get fired from becomes an enabler.


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I’m sure there is a lot of truth in your observations


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[Fishndude]

Due to age and what life has handed me, I give zero ****s about anyone with “demons”!

Time for a change

[BlackoutRam2500]

Well, I applaud you for your patience with the guy but you have to set it up to be a win for BOTH of you.

Yes he may do good work but if he's not showing up and costing you work, stress, and your customers to get frustrated I would say it's time to find someone new. I wouldn't fire the guy but I also wouldn't put him in a position to disappoint me either.

[Hoss163]

Just tell him hey man I’ve gave you the days you needed but I really need you now . I love your work and all that you have done for me but I have stuff pressing me I really want you to get done for me I would hate to find someone else but if you think I need to for awhile I will !

[ReydonPete]

If he wasn’t related to you would you have already replaced him ?
It should not be your responsibility to make him show up for work, if he not reliable I think that reflects badly on your company
The customer is relying on you to complete the job in a time frame and quality of work that is acceptable to them
If a customer is unhappy with the project not getting completed in time I would think they give anyone asking about your company a less than good recommendation, or even recommend they use another company
Overall is he good for you business or not ?
As others have said family and business is difficult to mix and have a great outcome

[DapperDan]

If he wasn’t related to you would you have already replaced him ?
It should not be your responsibility to make him show up for work, if he not reliable I think that reflects badly on your company
The customer is relying on you to complete the job in a time frame and quality of work that is acceptable to them
If a customer is unhappy with the project not getting completed in time I would think they give anyone asking about your company a less than good recommendation, or even recommend they use another company
Overall is he good for you business or not ?
As others have said family and business is difficult to mix and have a great outcome

The only good thing is this job doesn’t have a deadline. Customer is wanting me to work it in when I can but I hate dragging out any job regardless.


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[Ironman]

The only good thing is this job doesn’t have a deadline. Customer is wanting me to work it in when I can but I hate dragging out any job regardless.


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I think you missed the point.

[ReydonPete]

Your definitely in a tough spot
Is this the only job you’ve had issues with him on ?

If you don’t want to replace him, you probably gonna have to learn to live with his behavior

[Shane]

Yeah it’s the anxiety mixed with his choices of coping with anxiety that are the problem.... the coping mechanism is what causes him to miss work....


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I would hate for my business to be dependent on a guy with those demons, family or not. By carrying the work load for him, you're partially enabling his poor choices. It's not likely to get better as long as that happens, and that sucks all the way around.

[DapperDan]

Your definitely in a tough spot
Is this the only job you’ve had issues with him on ?

If you don’t want to replace him, you probably gonna have to learn to live with his behavior

Yes this is the only job. And I have another guy that has a crew and is the best carpenter I’ve ever seen. He truly is an artist. And I don’t make that comment lightly. It’s where this guy learned what he knows.

However, the other guy stays busy which is fine, but he doesn’t really do small jobs. He is the guy I would use on the big remodel I’m bidding.


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[DapperDan]

I think you missed the point.

I didn’t miss the point. I caught what you are saying which is why I now know I can’t use him on big jobs with hard deadlines. I have another guy that will take on anything I have as long as it’s a bigger job. The customer will have to wait to get started because he stays busy and usually has 3-4 jobs lined up at a time.


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[cowman]

sounds like your family member has the upper hand in this "business" relationship. he seems to be more valuable to you than you are to him. you've been given the right advice here. time to be a businessman and make a choice.

[bownutone]

I would not fire him but would hire another framer (or helper if you have to do it yourself) to help get caught up. If and when he shows up to work and you don't have anything for him he may figure it out.

[DapperDan]

I would not fire him but would hire another framer (or helper if you have to do it yourself) to help get caught up. If and when he shows up to work and you don't have anything for him he may figure it out.

Definitely doing this regardless of the overall outcome


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[COACH_EM_UP]

Because he has stress and anxiety and certain demons that I choose not to say.... he’s struggled his entire life with it.


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Sounds like you need to find someone more reliable. And you also need to stop being an enabler. Quit making excuses for him. You say he is good at what he does, but do you think he is the only out there that can complete the jobs? Surely not. Quit making an excuse of all of his demons. Everybody has them. Everybody has something that they are struggling with in life. That does not mean we get to skip work and make those demons and excuses hold more control over our lives. You are giving him reasons and allowing the behavior to continue. If he is 45, it is time that he grows up.