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-   -   Was I in the wrong? (https://discussions.texasbowhunter.com/forums/showthread.php?t=758082)

TxSon1836 02-07-2020 12:21 PM

Was I in the wrong?
 
Ok GS, I went on a date the other night with a very nice girl I met at a party. It was going to be our first date (ended up being the only) and it was nothing fancy just dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks or something nothing really concrete. We agreed to meet at the restaurant and I got there early got the table and everything but when she arrived she had a kid with her. Now she had not mentioned she was a single mother AT ALL. Well long story shirt she expected me to pay for her kid which I objected to because A I didnít know the little tyke existed and B she didnít ask she just expected it. Well the date was cut very short and she basically said I was a ****ty human being but Iím pretty sure she is in the wrong in this scenario.

Thoughts?


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panhandlehunter 02-07-2020 12:26 PM

Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

ACCURACYINC 02-07-2020 12:26 PM

She showed up for a first date with her kid. Nothing that occurred after that is your fault.

RattlesnakeDan 02-07-2020 12:26 PM

Just marry her and get it over with.

bullhead44 02-07-2020 12:26 PM

I dont think you did anything wrong. Kind of odd for her to spring a kid on you on a first date. I guess you ended up feeding her fish heads!

jer_james 02-07-2020 12:27 PM

She was in the wrong, but I would have still paid for the whole dinner. Just me though. I think you were justified in how you handled it.

Did a babysitter fall through or anything? May have been some mitigating circumstances.

twistedmidnite 02-07-2020 12:27 PM

I would of paid for the kid. The next day I would of had a talk with myself to decide if i wanted to be a dad or was i just looking for some split tail. If the later i wouldn't talk to her again. (Disclamer is if she gave a vibe of looking for a sugar daddy)

tfrye 02-07-2020 12:28 PM

I would say that she should have told you she had a kid, but maybe she wanted to make it to the first date before telling you. IMO she should have got a baby sitter and told you on that date that she is a single mom but showing up with the kid is really really odd and not a good idea.

However, I would have just paid for the kid and never contacted her again!

ACCURACYINC 02-07-2020 12:28 PM

A truly unbiased assessment requires a picture if I'm not mistaken.

myway 02-07-2020 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhandlehunter (Post 14690062)
Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

^^^ This is the correct answer.

quarterback 02-07-2020 12:30 PM

We need pics of the girl to properly decide.

DJM 02-07-2020 12:30 PM

Gonna need a pic of the girl in question before I can render an opinion.

DJ

Bish 02-07-2020 12:31 PM

Well, If it was me would have payed and not would have been a issue, just would not ask for another date if this was something that bothered you. She should have said that she had a child and would be bringing it, but maybe she was just wanting to see what your reaction was, think you might have failed;)b

God Bless
Bish

Fargus 02-07-2020 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhandlehunter (Post 14690062)
Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

Agreed.

Hoggslayer 02-07-2020 12:32 PM

Without even reading the OP. If a woman was involved, then Yes.

EDIT:

Now that I read the post, You did the right thing by sending her packing, you just didn't do it in the right way. Should have just paid for dinner and parted ways. She was defiantly wrong for taking a kid on the first date . Kids shouldn't be exposed to every guy a girl meets.

Big Al 02-07-2020 12:33 PM

She was wrong. I had a friend in a similar situation years ago. They dated a couple of times before he found out through a mutual friend she was looking for a daddy.

Snowflake Killa 02-07-2020 12:33 PM

Oh this is going to be a classic for sure. Now let me ponder

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Charles 02-07-2020 12:33 PM

Run her and any future dates through the crazy hot matrix test as a pre-caution.


Snowflake Killa 02-07-2020 12:35 PM

Are you a little bit upset that she came with the kid thinking that you was going to get lucky on the first date? You should have just paid for the kids meal and didn't pay for hers

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Calfroper81 02-07-2020 12:36 PM

Pics or it didn't happen

RattlesnakeDan 02-07-2020 12:36 PM

You have to think like a woman to understand.....she brings the child for 2 reasons: 1 because it will test you and see if you are open to dating someone with a child (previously discussed and approved by her girlfriends) and 2, it makes her feel safer knowing she has a better chance of you behaving with a child around.
I would of course have paid w/o hesitation but if money is tight I understand the surprise on your end.

slayr 02-07-2020 12:36 PM

I think it’s pretty clever on her end. She now knows you were probably there just for the ***...Easy skimming method if you ask me.

What’s the cost of a kids meal in the grand scheme of things? Actually a lot cheaper than paying a prostitute.

arrowsmack324 02-07-2020 12:37 PM

I'd have to say y'all are both pretty ****ty but you're a little more. Not a competition but yes you are the winner. Good thing is y'all both showed your cards even if yours is a delta bravo card.

Dirtymike 02-07-2020 12:38 PM

Need a picture of the chic first.

Me i would of smiled at the little dude/gal and asked them what their name was, what the wanted to eat, and what dessert is their favorite.

She may have had a sitter bail at last minute and really liked you and did not want to stand you up. Did not know how to tell you so she just brought the little.

I think that was a jerk move, you may have been blessed with a very lovely woman. But, she could of just been hot and no personality.

Either way i would of played it cool and enjoyed the company.

I think IMO JERK MOVE!

How much is a kids meal anyhow? Come on dude!!!!!

oktx 02-07-2020 12:39 PM

At least you know she puts out...

Big Lee 02-07-2020 12:40 PM

I've spent more $$ for less fun, so I would have paid for both.... $8 meal could have been a dream come true or you just dodged a major bullet. Either way as long as you are OK with your actions and feel what you did was right then move on.

Calfroper81 02-07-2020 12:40 PM

This could be the reason you are still looking for a date. No the best way to handle it IMO, but we have all messed up and learned from our mistakes. Hopefully you both will

jer_james 02-07-2020 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slayr (Post 14690097)
I think itís pretty clever on her end. She now knows you were probably there just for the ***...Easy skimming method if you ask me.

This isn't necessarily true at all. What kind of Mom would bring a kid to a date with a strange Man? If I was the Dad, I would be ticked the eff off.

cehorn 02-07-2020 12:41 PM

I don't think you were in the wrong at all. Part of it depends on your ages etc but to me it isn't a big deal if she has a kid. It is a big deal that she didn't mention it (although I can see her waiting until the date to tell you) and an even bigger deal that she brought the kid. For her she should have either told you she had a kid & discussed bringing it on the date beforehand so y'all would be in agreement, not brought the kid & told you she had a kid on the date or if a babysitter fell thru or something she should have called/texted to let you know ahead of time so you could decide and not feel ambushed. For her to expect for you to pay is pretty crappy too. With that said, I would have paid as it was probably what an extra $5-$10 bucks which you probably saved on drinks with both of y'all driving, etc.

TxSon1836 02-07-2020 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jer_james (Post 14690066)
She was in the wrong, but I would have still paid for the whole dinner. Just me though. I think you were justified in how you handled it.

Did a babysitter fall through or anything? May have been some mitigating circumstances.



Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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hog_down 02-07-2020 12:42 PM

In all seriousness, I don't think you were in the wrong at all.

Man 02-07-2020 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhandlehunter (Post 14690062)
Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

I'm in this corner

RWB 02-07-2020 12:42 PM

When I was single I paid for a lot of dinners just to get them over with and move on. I was taught to pay for your date and if that included a kid well I would have paid and moved on. Also valuable lesson learned....first date is always just meet for coffee. If you dont hit it off your out a starbucks if you do you can always go somewhere else.

Backwoods101 02-07-2020 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oktx (Post 14690101)
At least you know she puts out...



[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]


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sotol 02-07-2020 12:45 PM

I don't know the op. If the o.o is married he could ask his wife for guidance.

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Daniel32 02-07-2020 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhandlehunter (Post 14690062)
Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

Agreed!

Should have just been the bigger person and paid for the kid, and end the date after dinner. You were expecting to pay more anyways as you mention movies or drinks after so money wasn't the issue. I understand he wasn't part of the original deal but just chalk it up to a bad date and move on.

cehorn 02-07-2020 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oktx (Post 14690101)
At least you know she puts out...

She brought the trophy to prove it....

jer_james 02-07-2020 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TxSon1836 (Post 14690111)
Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.

If you feel bad about it, I dont think you should leave things how they were left. If you think it's possible, I would at least apologize. Tell her you were caught off guard, and decide if this is a deal breaker for you and her, or not.

kcnatural 02-07-2020 12:47 PM

Was the kid old enough to push a lawn mower?

Backwoods101 02-07-2020 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TxSon1836 (Post 14690111)
Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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How old was the kid?

150class 02-07-2020 12:48 PM

Im dying that she brought the kid lolol

Mike Fangman 02-07-2020 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oktx (Post 14690101)
At least you know she puts out...

For the win ^^

WItoTX 02-07-2020 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TxSon1836 (Post 14690111)
Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Yeah, you should probably feel bad. Oh well, live and learn. Next time ask if they have kids before the first day!:D

To be clear, I have done some ****ty stuff myself, so don't take my response as a holier than thou comment. Just make sure you learn from it.;)b

BrandonA 02-07-2020 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhandlehunter (Post 14690062)
Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.

agreed. I would have paid and also keep in mind something might have come up last minute concerning the babysitter and she had no choice but to bring the kid. Either way the gentleman thing to do would have been to pay enjoy dinner and move on.

HoustonHunter94 02-07-2020 12:52 PM

I would have been disappointed that she thought that was cool to spring that without giving a heads up. Would have smiled, paid for dinner and likely never called her again. Then Plug her into the hot/crazy matrix to know for sure.


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ATI 02-07-2020 12:52 PM

I personally, would have paid for them both because I love kids and feel bad/sorry for kids who are raised in single parent households. I think you were a little childish there yourself bubba!

That being said; She was wrong for not telling you about the kid and bringing him/her without any notice

Dirtymike 02-07-2020 12:52 PM

Not to mention bro. Sometimes a little Happy Meal could end with a Happy Ending...

You blew it.

slayr 02-07-2020 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jer_james (Post 14690108)
This isn't necessarily true at all. What kind of Mom would bring a kid to a date with a strange Man? If I was the Dad, I would be ticked the eff off.

If it was in a public place, then no different than bringing the kid to eat, just the two of them.

Artos 02-07-2020 12:54 PM

So she asked straight up right after she arrived about who's paying??

Glad I'm not in the dating game & gonna go hug the wife!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TxSon1836 (Post 14690111)
Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Fightinaggies 02-07-2020 12:56 PM

She's wrong on that one


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