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-   -   Lost my private spot, now in need. (https://discussions.texasbowhunter.com/forums/showthread.php?t=660469)

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 01:10 PM

Lost my private spot, now in need.
 
Well, it finally happened.

Iím not even sure how to explain the situation Iím in without getting really long winded. Couple that with my general inability to be brief, and this could get dicey. Iíll give a shot at being concise.

My FILís property has had a shift in the rules, apparently. Generally speaking, there were no real restrictions on hunting down there. It was a Ďmi casa, su casa,í situation. The only thing that was really asked was to put in a little time for property maintenance and let someone know when I was headed down that way. Easy stuff. This year, thereís a twist. A friend of the family (I think, I donít know the guy Ė but heís a nice dude) expressed a bunch of interest in hunting there. And, unlike me, he has the ability to get to the place on a regular basis. Heís put in a bunch of work down there to make a spot for himself.

Worth noting, heís put in a bunch of work with regard to hunting. For himself. Heís not down there doing a bunch of property work (and, disclaimer, neither am I).

Now, today I had a conversation with the FILís wife about the Ďrules,í and it basically summarized like this: Thereís only 1 killable deer according to her (Iíve counted 5 mature bucks at one stand), and the other guy gets to hunt as much as he wants to kill that ONE deer before I get to go, because Ďthatís fair, heís put in a lot of work.í Kicker, he doesnít bowhunt.

Please, read that again. Initially I was absolutely incensed. But, hereís the deal Ė itís not my place. They own it, itís their rules, and I need to be cool with that. So, I am. But, thereís now no reason for me to go. I canít make a schedule and thereís nothing for me to hunt if this other guy is at all successful. And hey, I wish him the best. Carry on smartly, sir.

What this unfortunate situation has left me with is no place to hunt. I live in Arlington, smack in the middle of the DFW metroplex and Iíve never hunted public land. I understand that itís now way too late for me to do meaningful scouting and make a comprehensive, well-informed plan for opening day. But, I donít want to miss it. If anyone read my ĎDear Dadí post a couple of years ago, opening day is the most important hunting day, for me, for a lot of reasons.

Hereís my plea to the green screen Ė is anyone familiar with public land hunting areas up here within about an hourís drive? Iíve looked at TPWD but canít find anywhere that allows whitetail hunting. My search strategy may be flawed, though. Anyone help a brother out?

-LaS.

SFAbowhunter 09-06-2017 01:18 PM

Man, that's rough. Especially since it's family.

Have you looked at Cooper WMA or Tawakoni?

HoustonHunter 09-06-2017 01:22 PM

You talked to his wife but have you tried to have a sit down, meaningful conversation with your FIL?

FireNguns 09-06-2017 01:22 PM

Decatur grasslands.

SFAbowhunter 09-06-2017 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HoustonHunter (Post 12709569)
You talked to his wife but have you tried to have a sit down, meaningful conversation with your FIL?

This as well. I would think this could change your hunting season here. ;)b

Bort 09-06-2017 01:26 PM

Could you hunt for a doe? Maybe, pigs or turkey?

bigbad243 09-06-2017 01:30 PM

Why not give it a solid go during bow season?

Razorback01 09-06-2017 01:31 PM

PM sent.

CastAndBlast 09-06-2017 01:40 PM

Grapevine maybe?

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HoustonHunter (Post 12709569)
You talked to his wife but have you tried to have a sit down, meaningful conversation with your FIL?

Believe it or not, his standing order is, 'don't kill her favorite deer.' I plan on talking to him about it, but I have to figure out the best way to go about it. The real consequence of this is that neither me nor my wife now has a reason to be down there. She doesn't like it unless we're fishing together, and if I'm not hunting or fishing with her... But, i can't make the conversation sound like a threat. I'm just not hopeful, but yeah, this is on the radar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bort (Post 12709577)
Could you hunt for a doe? Maybe, pigs or turkey?

I was actually thinking about this on my lunch break just now. Yeah, I think I'll still do this. I'd love it if there were turkeys, but there aren't any down that way. Pigs abound, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbad243 (Post 12709584)
Why not give it a solid go during bow season?

FIL's wife specifically said, 'wait until other dude kills a deer before you go.' My thought was to get in all my hunting during bow season and kind of deal with the rest as it comes. But, she seems to not care. He gets a deer. I wait.


Also, here's the best part that I didn't mention in the initial post. I spent a good portion of last winter organizing a nice little spot for me to put up a stand. I tractored it out, put up my stand, game cameras, all that. The new guy's 'spot' is about 60 yards from my spot, facing my stand. You can literally see my small cut plot and treestand from where he'll be. Again, I don't begrudge the guy anything because he HAS put in a lot of work. But, he did move in on a place that was basically already primed.

tex4k 09-06-2017 01:50 PM

I feel your pain man, I've got relatives with several sections of land, I hunt on a place that belongs to a friend, his family and mine have been friends for generations. My in-laws are so afraid that I'm gonna want something from them, then they're upset when I don't. Can't get my head around it, quit trying years ago, I do what I do, they can do whatever it is that they do.

IowaHunter 09-06-2017 01:54 PM

Sounds like it's time to pay for a hunt. Maybe at Buff's place.

Christianhuff 09-06-2017 01:54 PM

sounds like they put friends before family and i wouldn't want to mess with a small spot that some dude was rifle hunting.

FF36 09-06-2017 01:55 PM

LBJ Grasslands. A few guys on here hunt that land. Also start looking at Texas draw hunts if its not to late. It at least gives you a chance. Sorry to hear it man. I'm just South in Stephenville from you. LBJ has a thread on here as well. Find it and ask those guys to lend a hand. I'm sure they will.

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IowaHunter (Post 12709663)
Sounds like it's time to pay for a hunt. Maybe at Buff's place.

This definitely crossed my mind. I spoke to my wife (ironically, hunting down at my FIL's place, and hunting in general, has caused us some tension before. But, when this came up she was/is genuinely bummed for me) about the situation and she kind of agreed that if I could schedule out one or two hunting trips per year, that might work out, too.

Texas Stalker 09-06-2017 01:57 PM

I'd just have a conversation with the new guy and work out the details between you two. Work up your own set of guidelines that makes y'all happy. Maybe even help each other out in stuff. What fil's wife don't know can't hurt her.


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zero-in 09-06-2017 03:26 PM

Tough spot...sorry to hear that. Property owners can be quirky even if they're family. Just be as patient as you can be and one way or another, everything will work out.

Hoss163 09-06-2017 03:33 PM

Sounds like you need a deer lease I just happen to know where one is that's pretty decent Bow only ;) . No but seriously good luck hope something works out for you !!

Shane 09-06-2017 03:40 PM

I'd respectfully talk to the FIL to confirm whether MIL's rules are the rules or not. If they are, then I'd probably quietly pick up my stuff and let the other guy have it while I made other hunting plans. I wouldn't make any big comments about it. I'd just respect their rules, and I'd go hunt somewhere. I'd do my best to maintain a good relationship with them, even though it would mean I wouldn't be at their place as much during hunting season. Maybe eventually they'd redo the rules again and invite me back. If not, I'd be hunting somewhere else anyway.

Gunnyart 09-06-2017 03:55 PM

Found myself in a similar situation before last season. Fortunately managed to maintain good relationship with the friend who was letting me hunt (in fact just was there for dove opener) but I choose to bite the bullet and get my own place... Long story short I've never anticipated an opening day like this year. To have the freedom to hunt my very own place that I've put in the sweat to get the way I want is indescribable. Not the cheapest solution be for me totally worth it.

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shane (Post 12709879)
I'd respectfully talk to the FIL to confirm whether MIL's rules are the rules or not. If they are, then I'd probably quietly pick up my stuff and let the other guy have it while I made other hunting plans. I wouldn't make any big comments about it. I'd just respect their rules, and I'd go hunt somewhere. I'd do my best to maintain a good relationship with them, even though it would mean I wouldn't be at their place as much during hunting season. Maybe eventually they'd redo the rules again and invite me back. If not, I'd be hunting somewhere else anyway.

Shane - good head on your shoulders, there. Before I did anything silly, I just calmly reminded myself that it's not my place, and being there is a luxury. Their house, their rules. I do plan on having a conversation with the FIL to understand better, and to explain to him - from a practical standpoint - that I can't really hunt there under the current 'rules.' Not because it's not satisfactory, but because it's a zero sum game. As someone pointed out, I'll tell him I'm still happy to kill does and hogs, but I wont focus my effort there because it doesn't make sense.

As an aside to this; I've had a pretty awesome response from the green screen. Can't tell y'all how much I appreciate it.

Buckslayertx 09-06-2017 04:10 PM

PM Sent

Dusty Britches 09-06-2017 04:16 PM

So, you are kin and that guy is or is not kin?

I think you are making a wise decision for the immediate time frame. Calm, back off and let the dust settle.

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty Britches (Post 12709962)
So, you are kin and that guy is or is not kin?

I think you are making a wise decision for the immediate time frame. Calm, back off and let the dust settle.

Yeah, the new guy is a family friend who did some pest control work for the family. When he found out that there's this big hunting property and only one other hunter, he expressed interest and was invited. Cool, fine. But, because he put a lot of work into developing his little hunting area, he somehow got bumped in front of the line. Strange, I agree.

tps7742 09-06-2017 05:04 PM

Shane has some very good advice as usual and it would be advisable to follow. But this putting friends before family in most cases is no bueno in my book.

Czechfish 09-06-2017 05:09 PM

Pick up your things and move on. Don't accept sloppy seconds

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tps7742 (Post 12710059)
Shane has some very good advice as usual and it would be advisable to follow. But this putting friends before family in most cases is no bueno in my book.

You know, this is my main problem, too. I think, anyway. On one hand, i totally get that 'hey, there's a price, and the price is work on the ranch.' But, a) the guy hasn't done a lot of work on the property. He just put up stands, cameras, and killed a few annoying hogs (which of course he kept and ate). And b) there was never any real talk of 'you have to earn your spot.'

LiftAndShoot 09-06-2017 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Czechfish (Post 12710069)
Pick up your things and move on. Don't accept sloppy seconds

That's also part of this craziness. There ARE no seconds. I've identified (disclaimer - I'm not a wildlife biologist or an experienced property manager) several killable deer. I was even the champion for the deer population there for the last few years. Now, though, there are some prime candidates. The FIL's wife has identified ONE deer that she says is ok to shoot. Why, you ask? Because 'it has a drop tine and needs to be culled.' I can't make that up.

Crazy Horse 09-06-2017 09:39 PM

FIL?

Shoooot....if that's the case & I'm in that situation, I'm having "Daddy's little girl" call Daddy...

Otherwise, "new family friend" trumping SIL/daughter sounds like there is something underlining here...and if that's the case, I'm down the road & not worth my headache...

LiftAndShoot 09-14-2017 12:03 PM

I have to share this update with you guys, just so you can share in my incredulity. Now, I'm not still holding out hope for this spot or anything, but there are 2 things that have happened since the initial pass when I found out the 'bad news.'

1. I asked the FIL's wife about being able to go down there and kill a doe or a hog. I got permission to do that with a strict 'no bucks' reminder because they are reserved.

2. This is the part that, to me, is nuts. My FIL is in big business and travels a lot. He emailed my wife (not me) from Europe and asked her if I could/would go down to the property this weekend and help the wife and their best friend work. Like, weld, move dirt, operate heavy equipment, improve the land, tractor - hot, out-in-the-sun work. Which, hey, I don't mind a bit. But, can someone tell me why it's ok to say, 'hey man we're taking something from you, and the guy we gave it to is going to be noticeably absent, so we need you to go do manual labor for us.' I mean, really?

CastAndBlast 09-14-2017 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiftAndShoot (Post 12730018)
I have to share this update with you guys, just so you can share in my incredulity. Now, I'm not still holding out hope for this spot or anything, but there are 2 things that have happened since the initial pass when I found out the 'bad news.'

1. I asked the FIL's wife about being able to go down there and kill a doe or a hog. I got permission to do that with a strict 'no bucks' reminder because they are reserved.

2. This is the part that, to me, is nuts. My FIL is in big business and travels a lot. He emailed my wife (not me) from Europe and asked her if I could/would go down to the property this weekend and help the wife and their best friend work. Like, weld, move dirt, operate heavy equipment, improve the land, tractor - hot, out-in-the-sun work. Which, hey, I don't mind a bit. But, can someone tell me why it's ok to say, 'hey man we're taking something from you, and the guy we gave it to is going to be noticeably absent, so we need you to go do manual labor for us.' I mean, really?


Sounds to me like he doesn't know what is going on ( I didn't read much above, so maybe this has been addressed). However, have your wife email him back and ask tell him that you will absolutely help, but does he know that the MIL has taken away some hunting rights?

Shinesintx 09-14-2017 12:21 PM

Sorry in advance for the rude question...but is the FILs wife sweet on this new guy? If FIL is out of town a lot and this new guy is taking over, is it plausible?

LiftAndShoot 09-14-2017 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CastAndBlast (Post 12730064)
Sounds to me like he doesn't know what is going on ( I didn't read much above, so maybe this has been addressed). However, have your wife email him back and ask tell him that you will absolutely help, but does he know that the MIL has taken away some hunting rights?

You know, I thought about this. And I think we have to have a conversation when he gets back. My concern is that he's going to say, 'her rule stands.' But, again, I can just take my ball and go home after that. I'm hoping he doesn't actually know that conversation was had. If he does, this is...profoundly arrogant.

CastAndBlast 09-14-2017 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiftAndShoot (Post 12730082)
You know, I thought about this. And I think we have to have a conversation when he gets back. My concern is that he's going to say, 'her rule stands.' But, again, I can just take my ball and go home after that. I'm hoping he doesn't actually know that conversation was had. If he does, this is...profoundly arrogant.

After reading more, I bet the MIL likes this friend and is making up rules without letting your FIL know. I would just tell him, "Hey, I will always be glad to help y'all out because we are family, but what is going on with the hunting situation? I would like to understand as to not step on any toes"

LiftAndShoot 09-14-2017 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinesintx (Post 12730079)
Sorry in advance for the rude question...but is the FILs wife sweet on this new guy? If FIL is out of town a lot and this new guy is taking over, is it plausible?

I don't think so. I mean, that would make it a little bit easier to understand. But, the guy is younger than me. He's like...27 or something. What I DO think is helping this situation is that new guy is friends with HER son (who is NOT related at all to my FIL).

Christianhuff 09-14-2017 12:30 PM

Oh no!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LiftAndShoot (Post 12730018)
I have to share this update with you guys, just so you can share in my incredulity. Now, I'm not still holding out hope for this spot or anything, but there are 2 things that have happened since the initial pass when I found out the 'bad news.'

1. I asked the FIL's wife about being able to go down there and kill a doe or a hog. I got permission to do that with a strict 'no bucks' reminder because they are reserved.

2. This is the part that, to me, is nuts. My FIL is in big business and travels a lot. He emailed my wife (not me) from Europe and asked her if I could/would go down to the property this weekend and help the wife and their best friend work. Like, weld, move dirt, operate heavy equipment, improve the land, tractor - hot, out-in-the-sun work. Which, hey, I don't mind a bit. But, can someone tell me why it's ok to say, 'hey man we're taking something from you, and the guy we gave it to is going to be noticeably absent, so we need you to go do manual labor for us.' I mean, really?

I would be to busy scratching my ***** to go help!

Shinesintx 09-14-2017 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiftAndShoot (Post 12730100)
I don't think so. I mean, that would make it a little bit easier to understand. But, the guy is younger than me. He's like...27 or something. What I DO think is helping this situation is that new guy is friends with HER son (who is NOT related at all to my FIL).

Ok, it's starting to make a bit more sense. The MIL, is a step MIL and since the FIL is out of town, his daughters husband (you) are getting the shaft. I don't think he knows what's going on.

I wouldn't have the conversation with the FIL, have your wife do it. It seems apparent that the FIL is in the dark since he asked you to do some work. Have your woman fix this so you don't have to be the bad guy.

Smokecity13 09-14-2017 12:34 PM

Man this is rough. I was in a similar situation last year and it ruined my season but I couldn't complain because I was hunting someone's place for free. I seriously thought about just finding a lease because it got to be such a hassle worrying about random friends of the ranch owner going to my spots whenever they wanted, messing with my feeders, stands and taking young deer.

I hope you find something man, I would seriously start looking for a lease next year where you can pay some money not to have those same issues.

BURTONboy 09-14-2017 12:45 PM

That's a tough one there. I would take my stuff home with me this weekend after helping them work. Let them see that it's not worth your time to feed their deer if you can't hunt them. Maybe a light bulb will go off in that she's being unreasonable and will change her rules. But for me, I would just pack my stuff with no intention in returning to hunt. If fil can't stand up to his wife to let his sil hunt instead of her kids friend, then I wouldn't be able to help much around the place either. At least not his wife. If fil asked for help, I would always be willing to help.

LiftAndShoot 09-14-2017 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BURTONboy (Post 12730149)
That's a tough one there. I would take my stuff home with me this weekend after helping them work. Let them see that it's not worth your time to feed their deer if you can't hunt them. Maybe a light bulb will go off in that she's being unreasonable and will change her rules. But for me, I would just pack my stuff with no intention in returning to hunt. If fil can't stand up to his wife to let his sil hunt instead of her kids friend, then I wouldn't be able to help much around the place either. At least not his wife. If fil asked for help, I would always be willing to help.

I like this last line of thinking. Thanks.

hooligan 09-14-2017 12:51 PM

So the property owners son is having his friend hunt and your hook is out of town a lot so you're SOL? Tough spot to be in. I would still go help because it's your family and they asked you to but I wouldn't do anything to improve the hunting.

Since you keep referring to your MIL as you FIL wife I'm guessing you aren't very close with her which may be part of the reason she didn't care about letting the other guy have your spot. Try to get a relationship with her too and it may help

Other than that I'd say LBj is your best bet, you've missed the deadline for all the public land draws around dfw this year

35remington 09-14-2017 12:55 PM

Having a good relationship with your FIL is not worth all this trouble. Find a new place to hunt.

That's my .02

CEO 09-14-2017 12:58 PM

I don't think I've known anyone with a free hunting spot that did more hunting than worrying. I would tell FIL, hey I'd love to go down and help work but I thought this new guy that took my hunting spot had everything handled.

pilar 09-14-2017 01:32 PM

It's family, go do the work , don't be a PIA , no reason to disrespect the families, sometimes these things just have to run their course. IMO the other guy rocked the boat , so I would just enjoy the FIL's place in what ever capacity

TP3 09-14-2017 01:43 PM

Man, I sure am glad the men make most of the important decisions in my family.

Space Ghost 09-14-2017 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TP3 (Post 12730307)
Man, I sure am glad the men make most of the important decisions in my family.

I was thinking the same thing man , I would say family 1st / but most importantly I would just follow my own path. Go look for you a lease or PHL , Thats all I hunt is PHL kill bucks every year . Good luck man.

yotethumper 09-14-2017 11:46 PM

Honestly, I would just give the FIL a call and talk. Just tell him exactly what is going on and tell him how you feel in a calm and relaxed manner. Communication is key.

Cooper 09-15-2017 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinesintx (Post 12730105)
Ok, it's starting to make a bit more sense. The MIL, is a step MIL and since the FIL is out of town, his daughters husband (you) are getting the shaft. I don't think he knows what's going on.

I wouldn't have the conversation with the FIL, have your wife do it. It seems apparent that the FIL is in the dark since he asked you to do some work. Have your woman fix this so you don't have to be the bad guy.

X2....Or find another place

stingerslinger 09-15-2017 10:02 AM

If the FIL agrees with his wife, that would settle it for me. I would not want to be somewhere that I'm not welcome.

Buff 09-15-2017 10:16 AM

How big is the property?


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